dude why did you let me call her?!
i told you it was a bad idea and to quote you exactly, you said "no, it's a good idea..that's what people do when they love each other." you met her 15 minutes prior to that conversation...
her name is jenna, so i wanna cunt punt her
that's how i am about ashleys and britneys
Instead of peeing my cute lil blue panties I peed in the train parking lot in front of an asian.
STOP SENDING ME DANCING JESUS FORWARDS.
The homeless ppl in LA are great. Theres sum guy that makes all of his clothes out of tighty whitey underwear. He makes bags out of them 2. Presumably 2 hold more underwear.
I miss my brother. He would have fucked the fat girl for me.
I told you I would
I wouldnt do that to you. You're my actual friend
Just thought you should know, Im with josh now. Im no longer available for rent. I have a full time tenant now. Like, a year long lease at least.
we gave you a glass of water and you just started yelling: TWO STRAWS, PATS AN ENGINEER HE'LL FIGURE IT OUT
Well yeah connect the two together, then you can lay down and drink.
Also, I'm going to yoga because I have a Taylor Swift range of emotions right now.
just walked across campus with a bottle of champagne in between my boobs. night two and the quest for classiness is already over
So...guess who had sex tied to the ladder of a caboose under the stars in Joshua Tree? This bitch
Should I have spent my entire pay check on Crown Royal and LSD? No. Do I regret it? Also, no.
tbh i just wanted to fuck a guy with forearm tattoos but then he was so FORWARD about it
We're lying on the pavement outside of the college. No one has asked if we're okay. I think they all understand.
I guess I was telling girls last night that I was a virgin with terminal cancer again
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