dpoing straight shots of jhameson. boys are imp ressed. i apologize
it's pretty bad when you go in bed bath and beyond and recognize 6 different bed spreads you've had sex on
Yeaaah. I'm kinda wary about that guy. Does he still have that taser that he found on the train?
I want him to come over and snuggle with me but put a bag over his head. Is that rude?
It's not rude if you use a pillowcase that's softer.
To be honest i'm almost glad he got arrested. His girlfriend and i kept making out so i'm pretty sure the alternative was a threesome. Now we're just the trashy girls who visit him in jail.
but im not going to tell the owner of the penis of my dreams how to wear his hair.
He sent me a snapchat of himself growing a double chin. I think we're past the stage where there's any risk of us sleeping together. Ever.
i think ive reached a prime reproductive point in my life or somethin- i see gingers and all i want to do is have their babies. like my body knows that i have a to carry on a legacy
Ps I think male models just broke down outside or maybe gay German sex travelers
There's weed in my toothpaste. Explain.
Apparently I came into our room and told her that there should be a zipline from our window to Walgreens so that I could get chicken noodle soup
this is the last time i am going to a 7am booty call
He sent me a dick pic. I am fighting the urge to send him a "sorry for your loss" card.
Babe if there was a way to give a back rub and head at the same time that's what I would ask for my birthday, Christmas and of course right now. Please think about how and get back to me.
The next morning I found her spread eagle asleep on the living room floor and he was asleep with his head in her crotch. I needed a ride and had to wake them up.
Randomize
