Awesome. Ask her out.
Nope. She's got a detail of ed hardy security around her.
I just bought a large Pizza and Xanex in the same store...my night is complete
There's a show on the Discovery Channel about T-Rex sex. I think this just made my life.
So my professor just changed my Final to 7:45am on May 6th. Shouldn't a Spanish professor understand the implications of Cinco de Mayo???
you just kept bragging about how there was a "pretty large" chance that you had pooped on the same toilet as George Clooney
Confidence margaritas not a good idea. Just said foreskin in my presentation instead of foresight.
They're re-releasing Titanic in 3-D. Can I interest you in a joint venture to create the greatest drinking game of all time? I think yes
Nuts. Absolutely nuts. she just screamed in my face something about not knowing whats happening and then got tackled by a dude
I woke up to her screaming at the various pictures of nutsacks she found on her camera
Haha. I got you. I always pay you back somehow. Do you accept all major forms of payment: cash, taco bell, and patriotic underwear?
MY MOM IS GOING TO SMOKE WITH ME.
SHE'S GOING TO SMOKE HIGH QUALITY MARIJUANA WITH ME.
SO HELP ME GOD THERE IS A SPIDER IN THIS PIZZA. IT IS VERY SMALL IT IS INSIDE THE CRUST AND IT IS ALIVE. I'M SO HUNGRY DO I KEEP EATING
I just did the walk of shame in monkey slippers in the snow
Teach me the song of your people
I hope dressing like a sexy, but very grown up and intelligent, secretary while out shopping helps disguise how high I am right now.
Your phone just changed "liver" to "liquor" how dose that make you feel
Randomize
