my friend just told me "I dunno what u r doing but keep doing it cuz it makes u look fabulous"
LOL that's cool. Guess u r gonna have to keep doing me
I asked my mom, she said yes...but you have to shower with grandpa.
Just got back from doctors appt. He lied. It wasn't a pimple on his dick.
Was it cool?
About as cool as only getting a handjob on your honeymoon.
So you honestly dont remember putting honey in your bong? You kept talking about how you wanted to become a bee and fly
I lost a little respect for your boyfriend when I learned that he has a scar from a Cheerio.
Just witnessed my roommate pick her nose and eat it in her sleep. Remember, you made out with that.
You were sitting in the tub, clothed, squirting my KY all over yourself. You said "it's warm." then passed out.
...if you're living vicariously thought me, that was a great blow job you just gave in the B&N parking lot.
The cab driver was nice enough to let you finish your beer in the car, but you crossed the line when you started to pee in the empty bottle
We were suposed to have a 3some in their bathroom but it just turned into us 2 making out while he watched like a little kid on christmas morning
I fell into a manhole last night, so there's that
Woke up this morning with fake blood all over my bed which is a positive considering last year it was all real blood
I didn't even mind that he came early I just wanted to get eaten out and cuddle
Gonna try and have sex in the empire state bldg, will tell you how it goes
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