Did you see the soccer ref give that girl the red card as she was being kicked out of the party?
he's from indiana, of course he's clueless about "g-spots"
me and my mom are sitting in the bank parking lot drying my beer soaked check with the heat... the whole car smells like heinekin and I'm trying to convince her I don't need a.a.
i find it unbelievable that you didn't think it was necessary to intervene when i started letting people autograph my body with spray tan.
who paints a picture of their own dick and sends it to people. i dont know if its borderline crazy or just fucking genius...
Totally just drove past you riding your bike. I was like damn, that looks like a cute little hipster boy, and then I realized it was you and that I'd already banged you and it kinda made my day. I hope you're well. Come over soon?
First highlight of the semester: campus safety caught me peeing in the dirt parking lot by kappa. Then as they were about to write me up, they recognized me, laughed, and left.
i spilled a box of white cheddar cheezits on the bathroom floor about 2 days ago. when i went back to the house he yelled at me from the bathroom: "THANKS FOR THE CHEEZITS, I'll ALWAYS HAVE A SNACK FOR WHEN IM SHITTING NOW!"
I was cracking open beer cans, throwing them off the roof, and yelling "FRAG OUT!"
I'm on my way back with the wine... And a puppy. It was free.
went to their party, left halfway through to fuck a pledge, came back to keep drinking. I think everyone won.
but real talk, he made 1 phone call last night and had someone bring us tacos at 3am so idk I might be inlove
Just so you know in the morning, yes you did send your bartender a snap of your boobs. No I didn't try to stop you because you used sound logic for doing so.
i sent him a picture of his friend's dick and told him he should really stop thinking he's my only option.
I have nice boobs. Don't wanna deprive anyone of the experience.
You're a saint.
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