I just got a drinking merit badge from a slutty girl scout
I woke up after 12 hours of being wildly intoxicated, got jizz on my face, and woke up in a different bed than I passed out in. My makeup is still perfect. I'm writing Revlon a thank you note.
and thats when we got a drunken mammogram in the middle of cvs pharmacy
He won't let me have sex with him, but feels bad if I won't let him get me off. It is the weirdest, best, most confusing pseudo relationship I've been in.
It's official. I now have that "I was drunk and needed the money" college story to share later in life.
yep. it's official. for $40 they will let you lick the stripper pole.
So my bf wanted to cum on my face and I let him. Afterwards I wiped some off, wiped it across his forehead and said, "The king has returned".
She thinks I'm afraid I'm gonna get caught in one of my lies and some of the girls I'm fucking will find out about each other. But it would be a relief to offload a few from the old crop and work in a few newbies into the rotation. The organization could use some new blood.
So we became Pizza Strippers- we stripped and asked for slices of pizza in return.
When he swipes my v card it will be comparable to my bat mitzvah. should I make sweatshirts or sweatpants?
He dislocated his shoulder trying to finger me last night if that tells you anything
Hypothetically speaking - is it bad if you get cut off at an airport bar at 11:30am?
Last night I crashed my housemates tinderdate, smoked his weed and then left. He felt too awkward to say no.#Empowerment
Grateful to be alive soliciting dick pics. Thankful i'm alive for these little things and especially these big ones too.
I'm drunk listening and crying to Selena. How's your Monday?
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