I just walked in on my mom and dad......It wasn't my dad
He was actually able to throw up in the bucket from the top bunk. im impressed.
I was so hungover that I had to stop in the middle of the game and throw up. The fans cheered.
i think im the only person who makes thank you cards for their drug dealer
We were naked in his bed when he asked me "what should we do?"
No. Do you know how much this carpet cost? If she comes over, you put down towels this time. i'm so not kidding.
If life deals in absolutes, the in betweens are the most hairy.... Fortune cookie wisdom from a stoned Megan.
So it's always a good weekend when you don't get any sleep, try opening a bottle of wine on rocks, and end up needing a tetanus booster for our stupidity... Same thing next weekend?
I needed to do something spontaneous, and since no one had coke this was the next best thing.
Well the streets were closed, so it was okay for me to just lay down for a little bit.
You know it's time to do the dishes when you take shots of water out of a sake glass...
And you wonder why you're always one of the guys?
He was so aggressive it felt like he was giving my boob a root cannal
I'm in the kitchen making quiche for my fuck buddy and his wife. I'm probably not the chick to get dating advice from.
Oh also we fucked while one of the old Rudolph movies was playing on tv so it was festive
How don't you remember..? You were getting handfuls of skittles out from our bra screaming TASTE THE RAINBOW.
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