Dude, don't freak out but the girl who stuck the hair brush in her ass is here. I can't look her in the eye!!
Dude I could put my dick between the gap in her teeth.. This is the last time we are hanging out with Kentucky girls
oh, it's pms. I almost cried yesterday bc my roommates didn't seem perky enough when I got home.
I'm sure that's not what the inventers of the Turkey baster had in mind, but that's what I had in mine.
The size of her vagina has nothing to do with the size of her heart bro
She wasn't to happy when she went to put her shirt on and it was covered in cum I just looked at her and said collateral damage....
nothing like smoking out of your roommate's bong with your mom to celebrate the rising of christ
he is risen halelujah
If you're in the liquor store 5 minutes before close, and you have to ask the cashier for a coin to flip to make a life decision because "vodka takes you to a bad place," you need to reevaluate your life.
Lets just say that a certain piercing set off certain alarms when I went thru the airport detector/scanner thingie. David was high fived like 12 times.
Dan I was a mess I made out with a 40 yr old who gave me a wad of cash for Christmas. Like wtf
What do you mean you don't want me to steal the manikin do you have any idea how expensive inflatable dolls are I can't get that for your birthday
OMG I WAS JUST THINKING ABOUT HOW OUR FRIENDSHIP IS SO REAL BECAUSE I SHOW YOU DICK PICS AND WE LAUGH TOGETHER.
Meeting him up for him to pay half of the Plan B was awkward but worth it cause I'm broke as fuck
Life is clearly unfair. You remember Courtney has three older sisters, well they're all "make baby sister look like a four" hot. I knew I shouldn't go home with her.
Get your dick back in here. On Saturdays, you're not allowed to leave my bed unless it's to make me bacon or coffee.
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