I'm not saying he was bad at sex, but I'm pretty sure I anti-climaxed.
Rubbed one out while on hold to buy tickets to Disneyland. Feel simultaneously like a freak and strangely productive.
Shame should no longer be a word in your vocabulary.
I'm standing outside of the bar watching homeless men teach a kid how to pee of the sidewalk.
the remote is under the fat chick passed out on the couch. Good luck .. and may god have mercy on your soul.
You were pouring Patron into the window of the squad car trying to get the police dog to drink it
So thats why that cop beat my ass?
Probably
It was great. They teamed up to hit on these two frat boys all night, until the frat boys started making out with each other. The looks on their faces...
No man. Everyone needs to shit off a roof, at least once.
well. can officially check "get caught having sex on the front porch by the neighbors" off the bucket list.
Dude. I don't even want cuddles. I just want an acknowledgement that I just had balls in my mouth.
congrats on being the token straight people in our group.
I think I'm just gonna exercise my lungs and fingers. With bong hits and crochet. BECAUSE I AM A REAPONSIBLE ADULT DAMMIT!!
Being an adult is fun. You can experience a break up, then go fuck someone else in the woods.
Fuck. I think I can already feel tomorrow's hangover. It's like future me cane back to warn present me about the impending doom but didn't turn the time dial back far enough.
He cut off part of his middle finger playing the knife game while singing The Knife Game Song at the top of his lungs. He also scream like a girl when his finger hit the floor and he realized he fucked up.
Randomize
