How did I get so drunk? We had to fish that girl out of the Goodwill Donation Box.
Just once id like a girl to say to me in the dracula voice, i want...to suck...your dick...
how do i tell him I'm always in the mood without sounding like a slut?
She started crying while we were cooking shrimp because 'Under the Sea" came on Pandora
I think I'm dead. Why did I think it was a good idea to hang from the banister while someone poured liquor into my mouth?
i was debating whether to load antoher bowl when i realized i was holding a sandwich in one hand and a cookie in the other. and laughing.
I'm hungry
Come here to eat and play. It'll be like Dave and Busters except with sex
Then he started caressing my eye brow. Like repetedly. For at least 15 minutes. It was strangely mesmerizing
As a plus, I've lost 5 pounds in two days, so "party all weekend" is officially a valid diet plan.
Ok you had this coming you put a sponsored filter on a dick pic
Is it awkward to pay for your boob job with scholarship money? Either way, it's happening.
It shouldn't be this hard to find someone who you haven't blown.
Hopefully he gets to dig deep into my body, before he digs deep into my past ..
How can i make it up 2 u?
DREW I AM SMOKING POT AND FUCKING. WE CANNOT DISCUSS THIS AT THIS PARTICULAR JUNCTURE.
Someone sitting next to me at this football game is totally eating chicken nuggets out of his pocket and drinking four loko. I wanna be him.
Randomize
