How was Slumdog? Did it pull your heartstrings?
It was entertaining. Better than most other Mexican films.
Dear male population: sorry for being such a dick tease but thanks for paying for my bar tab and drunk food
Are you for fucking real.? He divorced me just because he got a fucking girlfriend.?!
Jerry just sent me this: IOR GHIT ALL THE BUTTIB. Go get him. Now.
no. 1 rule of bromania: no females
They got a 10 foot tall beach ball from the roof of a McDonalds. Get the fuck over here.
Sometimes you gotta say "hey, its been a long semester. Let's puke before 10"
It's ok, I like adventure. Just ask my vagina.
Talking to friends parents while buying all the things needed for Jell-O shots. classic
You ruined me. I can't stop referring to everything outside as the "no-walls" ever since you showed me that video while I was tripping balls. My speech may be permanently altered for the rest of earth spins
I heard drunk is the new sober. I heard me say that. To a cop. Can you come get me??
Okay so I'm high eating chili cheese fries bra-less watching Mulan, could I be doing any better at life right now?
I think i should either cut my hair or buy a dildo.
When the bouncer doesn't let you in... Don't ask him where he works so you could file a complaint with the better business bureau... It only proves him right.
It's 5 PM...and you're 35. Congrats on being an amazing human being.
The hangover struggle is to real, just passed the drive thru window. Twice.
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