What would a frattoo be? Maybe like the Chinese symbol for Keystone Light.
she claims you yelled BOMBS AWAY when you came. tell me she's lying
but she didn't tell you i squeezed, built up pressure, and napalmed her face as i yelled it, did she
Sweater Vest, Chin Strap, Beard, sporting a white Beret- Please don't ever let me be THAT guy.
There is now a Twilight themed dildo. What do YOU want for christmas??
she had a my little ponys comforter. i left when she went to the bathroom
Im am drinking whisky alone in my parents basement. I think I just watched the point of no return stroll by.
At McDonald's last night the guy gave you the wrong kind of McFlurry, so you screamed at him, "YOU MCFUCKED UP."
Trying to figure out which chair my head was under last night
Gramp just called her sex-on-a-stick. AKA HE CALLED HER A WHORE. My 75 year old grandfather just called your ex's new thing a whore.
WHY DID YOU NOT OFFER TO LET HIM STAY
Dude, it's like you want him inside me more than i do
Nah I think he's a bit weirded out I worked out where he lives from a Facebook photo
If you find me in the bathroom in a fetal position, licking frozen bacon .. I might have Drank a little too much.
After the bar we stopped to Meijer where I found myself singing little mermaid while rubbing a pack of hotdogs on my face..
So I took my bra off and threw it in the bushes before we went to the bars..
I often wonder if we’re introverted extroverts, but I don’t think so. I think we’re just easily tired scumbags
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