just survived the first fart of the relationship.
did you know delaware is a STATE? HOLY CRAP! i didn't till i was hitting on this chick and asked her when she said she was from delaware, which state that was in. crazyness
where does the pee come out of this thing
She rolled a blunt with one hand...and instantly I had a boner, I'm going to marry this girl.
Thanks for stopping me from letting that 14 year old feel my boobs. Thanks.
Hey man. We haven't met but my name is Ben. I threw up a bunch at your house last night. I heard you smoke though so I'll smoke you out anytime.
I just took the cheapest shot in your honor
Discovered a freckle on my clitoris. What have you done today?
I'm on this new diet called "I have 10$ till next Friday, I have rice
I'm going to make out with someone. I'm on a mission. I don't even care if I'm wearing beer goggles. As long as he's not shorter than me, gay, or a woman.
I just realized, I'm going to be on my period for the end of the world. FUCK.
did you just describe your masturbation session as "rad af??"
You know something is wrong with your lifestyle when you have to clean easy Mac cheese powder off of your scale
at least it's not cocaine like last time
Dude. If you guys end up really liking each other, the color of his pubes won't matter. I wouldn't break a sweat.
I boned my sugar daddy for the first time yesterday and now I know why they say guys in their 40s are the best. Also I’m getting a car.
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