better yet, through the bookshelves. like an intellectual glory hole
so she finally agreed to being friends with benefits. not only did I take her virginity, when I woke up, she brought me French toast made with homemade bread in bed.
I worship thee.
the problem with open bar is i never know what to get
did you really just start a sentence with "the problem with open bar is..."
I am kinda proud of you, its like seeing my slutty baby take its first step
A 300 lb dude in a sundress yelling bible verses while wearing a raggedy anne wig is just as funny as I thought it would be. Thank you san francisco.
He's stoned as shit, eating breakfast cereal and taking a dump. All while listening to dubstep. We may never understand him.
She called me her guardian angel after I picked her phone up from the river of pee coming from her front porch.
It's gonna be one of those someone is getting divorced parties
I'm gonna write a book one day about how to be the less attractive person girls settle for after getting dumped. I will send you a copy
he doesn't sweat normal. maybe that's what THC smells like coming through the sweat glands...
When he couldn't get it up, he handed me a beer, put his clothes back on, and said "try again tomorrow."
Realistically you can't tell me you're gonna put mashed potatoes on your dick and expect me not to get excited
tom claimed she had a star tattooed around her buttonhole. i am not prepared for this era of skankyness
He just showed up at my house with a giant box of Trojans and a 6-pack of Yoohoo "for a special treat afterwards". I'm in love.
If you think that liquor is the way to shower sex then you're right.
Randomize
