what about "I will fuck you for a jamba juice" do you not understand?
so the time management class we had to take for work seems to be working. I just beat off instead of waiting for gf to get home bc it fit my schedule better.
I told you I was good to drive
dumbass I drove... you sat in the passengers seat and steered with a paper plate
Yeaaah, so cabbie laughed at me, and said, "rough nite? Let me find you some music" . apparently OPP is the appropriate ride of shame soundtrack.
I just figured you know how to drive a boat and I know how to get drunk. What can go wrong
Her roommate "grounded" her because she drunkenly tried to fill their fish tank with vodka
I AM THERE IN SPIRIT, TICKLING YOUR BALLS
I think the old lady next to me at the bar just saw your pussy
She needs sedatives and a leash
If a baby can come out of it, so can four raquetballs.
Aaaand the winner of the worst decision of Sunday night goes to me as I pull up to his house in my lingerie.
It's statistically impossible for there not to be at least one guy sexting you right now
My day went from bad to worse when I realized I puked out my second floor window last night.
When you didn't respond I figured you must be busy so I'm home in my pj's 2 beers in and stoned from weed I got from my gaybours. They also gave me cake. I'm not moving from this recliner.
We were fucking in the bedroom then we heard Sports center on in the living room. He stopped midfuck when I started celebrating that my team won over his
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