I can't find my pants or my car
I didn't even hookup I think I took them off at taco bell...
ha omg I always lose my dignity at taco bell as well... so no big deal.
im sorry i hit your dog last night,,,i didnt even see it
I dont have a dog?
WTF
Damn I can't remmbre the last tome I had sobr sex
Um. I believe with my boyfriend, slut
Fuck. Wron person. But yea
Reason #437 to hate Louisiana: Just went to the public bathroom at work. It was so humid the toilet seat was damp and sticky. Either it's the humidity or I sat in somebody's yesterday piss. I choose to believe the humidity.
I am not speculating about which disney princesses do and do not have gag reflexes
I woke up around 30 bottles of beer, with a piece of aluminum foil in my hand, that had "you Win" Wrote in sharpie..
Pregaming class all semester has made this final review session more like my introduction to the topic.
She sprained her ankle last night trying to flash me.
No it was fine, I've just never seen that many people eat dog food
I climaxed at the same time the bass dropped. I think it's safe to say I've reached enlightenment
I just called my boyfriend "Dad"... Awkward
My dry spell starts kindergarten this fall...
They grow up so fast.
Ive never seen a drunk man get suplexed before last week, now its the standard requirement every time we go out.
I apologize for using the phrase "monster cock hentai porn shit" to describe that guy I picked up last week.
Sitting beside a stoned cat on the kitchen floor eating cheesecake with my hands...just a struggle
Randomize
