just woke up in a hotel room.. realizing its the hotel i work at.. lets see how this walk of shame turns out
Ed hardy stationary at walmart. I'm betting snookie wishes she knew how to write
Yeah, my mom walked in on us. Instead of yelling, she went and hid in the bathroom til we finished. It was pretty classy.
Sure, fine. Daughter just told me she is not a virgin anymore. I am gonna start drinking now
does it count as cheating if I'm bettering him for his girlfriend?
Admit it. It's a brilliant plan with hundreds of possible repercutions.
Understatement of the year.
I forgive you, at least you vote. I found out my fuck buddy isn't even registered. I won't fuck a non respectable citizen.
Apparently when the cops arrived I was standing over him in the bathroom yelling, get the fuck up you piece of shit. Beer still in hand.
I also slapped not one but two bananas on the ass, twerked in public, and I think I made out with someone
Also, if asking a guy to come over and watch curling with you doesn't scream let's fuck then idk what does
I wanna be like, dude, I peed your bed. Like you laid in my pee. And we're not dating. You can find another fuck buddy who I'm sure won't piss on you.
I have like three friends I don't have sex with, what did you expect
we had to invent a new word for how drunk I was last night
Just spilled beer all over my bed. Should cut myself off, but instead I just took my shirt off and used it as a towel.
The longer the dick, the closer to Jesus when you’re on top.
Randomize
