I heard we made out
So is it bad that I'm using this 21 year old for his hot bod and utter naivety?
No its what 21 year olds are made for
I called you to phone bone last night, but you were out with your boring friends playing video games
hey this is lauren, i have to type for jon because he's convinced the tongs he's holding are his real hands
how the FUCK am I supposed to macarena while doubble fisting?
im not sure what exactly happened but i may need help faking my own death
I can't believe I had to sit there pretending to play Halo with a condom on for 20 Minutes because your brother barged in to tell a story.
She told me she's dating him because his apartment is a block from Taco Bell. I don't know how she's not fat.
I just watched how this is made for an hour because I was tooo high to remember what they were making. it was like a prize at the end.
how do you expect me to pass the time when I'm too old to be jailbait but too young to legally drink
hope your day is as exciting as mine- one of our trauma patients just stole an ambulance out of our bay... WITH AN EMT STILL IN IT.
It's cosmic balancing. My vagina is an instrument of karmic retribution.
Walgreens has pop rocks. Be prepared to get your dick sucked.
You should not have followed "the guy who peed in my bed" with "he smells good."
Had to take him to the ER for not only alcohol poisoning but for stepping on a firecracker. Happy 4th holy fuck
Randomize
