you kept typing in answers.com, why are the state police calling my house, expecting an answer
you know you made some mistakes when your last two boyfriends are both obsessed with women's curling...
that ring i bought was worth the 6 bucks. wore it to the bar, told some girl i was recently divorced and wasnt ready to take it off. just got laid. THRICE.
haha she has always seemed a little off. when i met her i was told she was the queen slut. and she had a crown on at the time. it seemed appropriate.
come onnn, where's your sense of adventure?!
I left it in that guy's dorm room.
tanning, a slurpee, and a cigarette. spa day college edition
He looked at me and just said "moist". The entire party shut down from uncomfortableness. He is an anti-party wizard.
I have nothing to say other than the obvious 'we probably shouldn't have done that' and the less obvious 'i think you bruised my labia major' ...?
He drives a tundra! Of course I fucked him. Im just saying eventually im going to need help moving and he has a nice truck. Its like thank you for later on
I'm tempted to randomly yell out 'SO HOW IS YOUR UNDERAGE GIRLFRIEND' but that would be callous
My knees are skinned from sitting on someone's face on concrete
I thought since you asked to see my dick I might as well say hi
I'm watching Netflix with my cats and eating homemade bread. Everyone and everything can go and fuck itself.
she is legit trying to fuck me to death between her and work i haven't slept in 3 days and have at least 16 hours to go before sleep is a possibility. can i crash at your place she doesnt know where you live
If you can throw 105 mph it’s mandatory that you’re hung.
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