ok so the lil girl sitting behind u was picking the hairs off ur sisters back and putting them in her mouth
I haven't seen any of my friends sober in months. We have classes together.
It's official. The summoning powers of my vagina are unmatched by anything in this world.
You said you wanted to wrap his dick in a tortilla and make a spicy burrito. Let me just say, most girls don't have this hard of a time getting laid.
We should totally stay in at new years, have sex and try to time orgasm to the countdown
We were high as shit. We argued for like ten minutes about going to Dunkin Donuts and then just ended up rolling down hills. Thanks for the weed.
Help me. My dealer just asked me to have a child with him. Sat me down for a heart to heart "he's almost 40 and losing his shit cause he's single and wants babies" talk. How the fuck am I supposed to feel about this????
ARTHUR IS ON FUCKING NETFLIX THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
you got coffee,laid,and a sandwich. that never happens when I work
I talked to the pizza guy for 10 minutes about my truck, I don't even have a truck
Literally I can feel my heart beat in my vagina because of how sore I am
lmao he sent me a snapped but i'm afraid to open.
i think i have dick pic PTSD.
Maybe if I ever do become a counselor, I would just implement a kind of intensive meme therapy.
The cat's telling me to stop taking acid, and to start doing the lords work. I'm almost 99% sure he's talking about the dark lord.
THIS CAT'S GOING TO TURN INTO A SNAKE AND KILL ME! GET OVER HERE NOW! BRING YOUR WAND.
Legit hope my Trump humping Brother dies of this shit so I can stop pretending to still love him.
Randomize