I just got off a plane from Mexico. At least 15 passengers dashed to the bathroom throughout the flight. Can you tell its spring break?
I made popcorn. Partly so the room doesn't smell like sex, and partly to apologize for the things you saw when you walked in...
At home depot. Final room inspection is tmrow, gotta paint over the puke stains
it was surprisingly calming to be rocked to sleep by his roommate humping on the bottom bunk
explaining to a nurse how i all most cut my finger off playing beer pong, she def just hand me a AA booklet.
We still on for coffee?
Cream and sugar. Deliver to planned parenthood in 45.
Other than my penis smelling like an ashtray, it went really well.
So unless we're getting married, I can't see him cry AND have sex with him. It just doesn't work like that.
Do I go to spinning class and try to redeem myself from going drunk, or do I wait a week and hope they forget I fell of the bike?
Haha never eat brownies from a guy with batman pajamas
Yeeah, I think a threesome is one of those wedding presents you can't register for at Bed Bath And Beyond..
We watched ESPN, hooked up, got waffles. You know, a typical weekend.
He wants me to fart in his mouth and is offering me SOOOO much coke. I'm stuck between a rock and a hard place. GIVE ME ADVICE.
I'm sorry I couldn't bail you out, apparenty they dont take credit cards over the phone. Did you at least make any friends in jail?
Cockblock successful. That's for pouring nacho cheese on my flatscreen, asshole.
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