I think it's safe to say that I made out with the entire msu campus this weekend
what are you wearing?
Just my guilt
i just sat at a stop sign for 10 minutes waiting for it to turn green. i need to STOP SMOKING THIS SHIT.
sorry probably not gonna make it :( kinda tied up right now
sad face, r u gay?... wait like really tied up?
:)
I want to jerk off but my dog won't leave me alone. It's the most depressing cock block ever.
i drank out of a bidet.
i spilled a box of white cheddar cheezits on the bathroom floor about 2 days ago. when i went back to the house he yelled at me from the bathroom: "THANKS FOR THE CHEEZITS, I'll ALWAYS HAVE A SNACK FOR WHEN IM SHITTING NOW!"
Fuck yeah GAYNESS
*explodes into glitter*
She only fucks to metal. I don't know whether to marry her or run for the hills.
i dont know whats worse..that i woke up in a gorilla suit or that its covered in peanut butter
Saying I've had more balls in my mouth than you is the last clear, coherent thing I remember.
I think sunday funday got a little out of control. There is cheese slices and BBQ sauce all over the roof and 4 empty bottles of vodka in my room.
A cop may or may not have seen my bare ass against the moonlight within the past hour
It's beautiful. It's what jesusxwants. I should send you a pic of my boobs out of friendship
You said you made a new recipe, but it turned out you just cooked ramen with vodka instead of water.
Randomize