If Jon and Kate can get divorced...how hard can it be for me?
I made myself breakfast and everything and then whoever's house it actually was came downstairs very upset.
She wants her shit back. Clearly she missed the cheaters-get-their-shit-ritually-burned clause.
Let's roleplay tonight. I'll be drunken diva and you be sexy sober.
IF that's your way of making me dd then count me out.
Contrary to what peaches says, you can't fuck the pain away. Full story later. Have a good morning, buddy.
Just ate applesauce I laced with percocets for dinner. I'm pretty sure my grandmother does the same thing.
I'm full of awesome ideas
Yesss you are. Im full of confusion. I keep finding peanut butter on my legs...
When I came in she was screaming "boundaries!" at the cat because it was trying to eat her pizza rolls.
I left my pipe in my center console with a bowl packed when I took my car to the shop, and when I picked it up the weed had been smoked, but my oil change was only half price.
Yes. Amanda is the only option and I want cake so I can sacrifice my vagina.
No shame December is a go.
I just realized, I'm going to be on my period for the end of the world. FUCK.
rollerskate sex sounded like a good idea...
Everytime I get drunk I wake up hugging the bag of bagels from three months ago
Did he hurt you? I have a crowbar I can beat his sorry ass with
Hey.. Lock your door. There's a drunk girl walking around in here. She just came in my room and peed on my chair.
Randomize
