You think ghandi was good in the sack? cuz i sure do.
I'm not gay.
Soooo you want ghandi? is that what your telling me?
If ghandi gives good head...I'm in
Its fine.
i kept saying "bloody hell" in a ron weasley accent until i forcibly told myself to shut up
even through the webcam i could tell he was aiming for my face/hair
So, I just pissed in her shampoo bottle. Hope she enjoys a late golden shower from me.
I told my girl, that I use to jerk off to Star Trek. All she says is, "Oh my gawd, you're such a trekie!". If I was her, I'd be weirded out more than me being a Trek Fan.
Just spit on a sock to clean a spot on my glass table. Oddest combination of so lazy and motivated ever.
i just discovered a movie that charlize theron is a sex addict. i think my prayers have been answered
Come get her ASAP. She's "people bowling," which is just her rolling into random groups of people. People look pissed.
I'm hoping they send me home from work drunk.
Next think I knew I was pretty much using his penis as a microphone... No more playing Eminem during hookups
walked into my roommates bathroom to her throwing up a quesadilla while singing come on skinny taco
I'm pretty sure my roommate is moving out because her cat likes me better
If all that ever happens between us is orgasms and dank memes, I think I'd be okay with that.
You wanna come over?
Too high to be booty called. My cereal is growing hair.
The fact that u had sex with a Disney prince blows my mind, you're my hero.
Randomize