Have fun with your cool freestyling girlfriend!
She can rap better than you any day
He invited me to see "alison wonderland" WHAT THE FUCK THATS NOT A FIRST NAME/LAST NAME TYPE DEAL
it's like your virginity...sometimes you have to pretend like it's still there
Should I feel bad that I fucked her and made her ride my little brothers razor scooter home?
Just to save you guys the surprise, somebody shit outside of our door.
there are 5 pictures on my phone from last night, 4 are too blurry to recognize and the 5th is you dangling a twizzler over your mouth, naked.
He took a shot, then proceeded to puke into the bucket he was iceing his broken foot in
Never use fire and ice condoms with a dude who always claims he "didn't know it was the wrong hole"
Dude, you need to man up. You passed out before a PRESEASON game. It's a long season.
I had to rip your toilet paper for you...
I've finally done it, I've downloaded some messenger lesbians like to use because some girl wanted to flirt.
Congrats, you're all grown up now.
I FEEL LIKE A GAY BUTTERFLY
I had my first "Damn Kids/When I Was That Age" rant at work today. We need to drink this feeling out of me. NOW.
He fell asleep during FOREPLAY. Sober!!!
Im outta here as soon as my phone charges wtf
So I have now fucked both my roommates...This is why I can’t live with men.
All I remember is being in the middle of the road puking and my bestfriend cheering me on from the passenger seat...
Randomize
