when i asked what day 420 fell on this year, she answered so quickly i knew i found my soulmate.
Did she have bad breath? Bad breath makes you think of all the bad things in the world
She pointed at me and told her friend, I'm going to fuck him, its going to be really loud, so yes, i need the whole basement.
I wasn't hungover this morning. My head just hurt because someone tried to suction cup a dildo to my forehead.
we were hooking up and then he goes "you can touch my penis" and i laughed too hard to do anything. no second date.
I blame it on the rum. It keeps jumpng doqn my throst.
The feeling are messing with the penis
Reasons why I'm always right: I am older, I am wiser, I have a larger penis
Vodka and cigarettes aside, my body is a temple.
This German chick looked me up and down for a while. Then she grabbed my crotch, let go after a few seconds, and said "you vill do". I think I'm gonna like tonight.
I mean, if there was a version of you with a penis, you'd fuck it...right? Like just outta curiosity at least
Stop getting drunk and running away. I can'tell chase you. Iim in heels and have big boobs. Running is a bad idea for me.
All you need for a happy life is Jameson and slippers
IT'S A GIANT FUCKING ROBOT, DUDE. LOGIC IS OUT OF THE QUESTION BECAUSE AWESOME.
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
Randomize
