Good face, no body. And apparently her vagina is related to chewbaca.
know what turns me on? long, stringy hair on a pasty looking girl with an overstuffed backpack and kneepads over her jeans in case she falls off her scooter
your less of a man for seeing that
Im at a party and this guy hitting on me just showed me his 'caution choking hazard' tattoo right above his penis. There goes any chance he had of getting laid tonight.
According to google history I spent most of last night trying to buy an elephant.
I'm customer of the month for a 3rd time now at the Wine store. I've achieved so much in my life
What a dumb baby whore.
He's nice but I'm a one bouncer kind of girl
Can you come pick me up and take me to breakfast then the police station?
Where's your car?
The girl I brought home apparently stole it
Just wanted to say, I appreciate your bravery in having read receipts
I'm trying to be sexual and you're sending me smashmouth lyrics
He just compared our sex to a grand slam on Wii fitness
You're doing it right
Remember how I have such good luck that it's almost bullshit?
I'm afraid to ask, but go on.
He let me share his family pack of hot pockets with him. Chivalry isn't dead after all.
Not drinking until my bday. I know it's only a few days but it feels like when couples get celibate before the wedding and there's all that tension.
Mimosas make me so tired. I just ordered a huge thing of pasta and gonna eat it in my underwear like a bad bitch
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