10 dollar pizza all the toppings you want. Wait Until You See This Pizza
Thank you for the breast cancer awareness themed circle of death. Had it been any other time I would not have played topless.
Using the ceiling fan to slice the hotdogs in mid-air can only be contributed to our liberal use of 1800.
My Mom printed off all of my Augusts text messages. Apparently I've been drinking WAY too much and having an intermediate drug problem. I have to go home everyw weekend for the rest of the semester
I don't think tequila will soothe the spots where my tonsils used to be.
Random thought: what if being devoured by animals was a death penalty option...and you got to choose the animal?
But for real, I had the best sex of my life on that bunk bed
I woke up this morning and I had the absolutely horrific realisation that I am the human incarnation of scrappy doo
Well he wouldn't kiss me so I made out with a German girl, took a shot with my boss, and I think I sprained my ankle. It was a quiet Sunday for me.
Just watched a middle age white woman scream WHY DON'T YOU GO FUCK YOURSELF, HELEN?! Helen seemed absolutely scandalized.
All I know is that I have a black eye and an extra $200 in my wallet. Other than that, clueless.
Despite breaking my phone, thumb, and my dignity, last night was pretty good.
Don't come up here. Strippers r crying.
I'm so sorry for trying to eat your puzzle last night...
Why would you ask him if you could lick his chest?
He has a very lickable chest
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