Make me a promise>>> if you ever see the brats from that tv show NYC Prep walking around, you will trip them, and you wil throw drinks on them
just took a pee in my own yard...decided i had to poo..only got a dingle berry....wiped it away with my finger..help me...my mom AND dad are home.
is wine microwaveable?
pretty sure that I broke my nose during sexting. Life is grand.
I just realized I used lady gaga lyrics in my research paper on marie antoinette
i just remembered the time you guys tried to give me an intervention because i was drunk before 5 on a monday
Any day you don't mysteriously wake up in the garbage is a good day.
i lost his rear view mirror, your phone charger, and my lesbian virginity. 21 isn't shaping up too well so far.
Do you remember me making bird noises at the bartender with some guy at the bar last night?
Just ate a chocolate chip cookie upside down. This is what having a degree does for you.
Sometimes turtles just really trip me out man
I was so high I didn't realize I'd put on someone else's bra. I thought my boobs had shrunk.
i had to win in rock paper scissors, get called a fat whore, and make two dudes get in a fight so we could call next game on the table and you make zero cups. thanks asshole.
i woke up wearing a life jacket, holding on to a footlong hotdog, and had on a mr. hustle 1995 shirt on
good night
I don't know what kind of bucket list you have, but having sex with a tree isn't on mine...
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