Tonight's Real World episode reinforced the well-known fact that men of any caliber can hook up with girls named "Crystal"
It's really too bad Cosmo doesn't have "What To Do When You've Drunkenly Sucked His Dick and He Doesn't Text You Back" article.
I'd say this is worse than that time when I realized that my favorite bath toy growing up was my Mom's douche bottle.
When i look at that picture of him, i'm a little proud to be like yeah, his dick was in my mouth saturday no big deal.
she has her graduation year in her skype name, it's like a constant reminder that she's jail bait.
Why i have shady connections. Owner just txt me asking to come by and judge the new stripper.
Just found a uh poem I wrote on ambien. It says to "cry your seamen filled tears" and "I hope you take a dagger to your vagina" and at the end it says "sincerely, God". What.the.fuck do they put in that pill?
theres chocolate ground into my couch, nerds candy all over the floor and cocaine on every surface. great memorial day weekend and yours?
I honestly think the worst part about the night is they just kicked us out of the park and we didn't even get to go into Disneyland Jail
Can we just talk about the fact that the last time I got laid I was wearing a Jurassic Park tshirt?
There is no way to say this. Dude, I peed your bed. No questions, no answers. My flight leaves in 30 minutes. Use my detergent. Also, THE VODKA IN THE FRIDGE IS YOURS.
Who the abstract fuck do you think you are!?
Had a girl with a moustache tattoo on her hand give me a handjob. That shit was classy as fuck. I felt like I should be wearing a monocle or something.
Are we at that level of friendship where we can share slutty stories and not hold it against the other person at a later date ?
Right before he dumped me... he got a really ugly pair of pants. They were twill pants. A pinkish color. When I'm sad... I picture him in them. It makes me smile.
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