I wish I could be a nicer person. Or a more sober one.
Did you know Kal Penn works at the white house? That's almost white castle.
Come on. It's already happy hour in Europe...Man up. "I'm at work" and "it's a tuesday" are not valid excuses.
Just remember that she is a giant dick-sucking forehead and you are better than that.
Woke up in a kilt. And it's not my kilt. Drinking was a success.
In all fairness I did warn the guy I just spray tanned before we had sex so I hold no responsibility for the bronzer all over his sheets
You're a disgrace to the female race and the love triangle and halloween.
Idk. Im in a bed. the walls are wood. There's a deer mount.. im afraid to turn over and see who's next to me but he's violently cuddly.
My tits, and hanging out behind a hotel eating pizza.
I feel like the way dolphins mate would be the approach that a guy would have to use in order for you to sleep with them
I'm attracted to him because he looks like the kind of guy who would lick my asshole without me having to ask.
The last thing I remember about last night was guzzling white zinfandel out of the box and eating cheese. And I was thinking OH YOU FANCY HUHHH
He said he "doesnt care at all, really" if I shave my legs or not. Challenge accepted.
Strip club or gay bar tonight?
I am an emotionally compromised bisexual.
So I hung out with an australian but woke up with a British man in my bed does that make me culturalized
Randomize
