if you're gona send my txt to that site at least change my area code plz
oh posh. I need a real boy. To fill my void. This guy has potential. He is a Republican.
***** and i were talking about Republicans today. They are usually the champs of mediocrity but we decided mediocrity is underrated.
i'm sure there's a big cosmic reason for things working out the way they did. like, now you have awesome images to masturbate to.
worst lay ever....
as long as you cum, there is no bad sex
ya... thank god for condoms, I was able to fake it... I stand by my original statement
i woke up this morning cuddling with a 3 foot statue of Jesus. heaven here i come
Just found out I have to work new year's eve. It's like one final 'fuck you' from 2009.
she both took care of me and took advantage of me. it was BEAUTIFUL.
he said I could live with him because I'm cheaper than a dog and don't need a pet deposit. That and I don't piss on the carpet...
You have to come over we all bought drinking hats. Mine has a turtle on it. Side note: somehow someone got their hands on 50 candied apples and we need to eat them...
That big chick who gave you the handly polished off one of the walls to the ginger bread house right before she came outside. FYI
This is the high leading the old right now
You were face down in the punch bowl, humming the theme to jaws
That explains the stains on my shirt
He called me in the middle of the night to ask my shoe size. Apparently big feet would make me an unsatisfactory third for the threesome.
MY BUTT IS BIG ENOUGH FOR AN ANACONDA AND HE DOESNT GET TO ENJOY IT TOUGH SHIT
It's a charity event and she's wearing a cocktail dress drinking a 40... I found my future wife
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