I used to have a blog that was basically all about ****** and all of his sexual misadventures
I mean it made tucker max look like a fucking alterboy
But unfortunatley his mom did a google search and found it
she was definitely a virgin. no ones that bad unless theyre a virgin
your sister was..
I'm pretty sure God is rooting for me with this two gf thing
he found my favorite bra, 3 thongs and a pair of jeans and gave them back. i love move out day.
I have been running off of weed, alcohol, and Mexican food. What is Tallahassee.
The last thing I remember is pushing my way into the bathroom and dumping a 40 on him. We havent talked since.
Apparently Bin Ladens last act of terrorism is cock blocking me....
I just realised I've never been sober in my apartment
I appreciate alcohol much more now that I have to be sober sometimes
In unrelated news guys should not ask what I'm doing/wearing if they can't handle an honest answer. I'm not pretending I'm not sitting on the couch in yoga pants watching Community so you can beat off.
So this was during drunk golfing. She started wacking me off on the ninth hole and an old couple rolls up next to us. And Says "hey gu- oh my golly" and while my penis is in her hand I'm like "sorry you guys can play through"
Their children would look like the Michelin man and smell like chef Boyardee
Erin was right. There were bees at the after hours.
I am going to bedazzle the shit out of your Basilisk costume.
i realized my signature handshake has now become a hookup. i love what college has done to me.
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