mmm... i enjoy making beautiful women smile
EVERY baby cries during their baptism. It's like they know from that moment on their parents are going to make them do lame things like their first communion and stuff.
im so bored in class... i just made a pie graph of my favorite bars and a bar graph of my favorite pies
mid blow job she looked up and said "we aren't even facebook friends!"
just cuz theres a goalie doesnt mean i cant commandeer the goal and become a way better goalie
Spring Fling is on 420. The theme better be 'Flower Child'.
I want there to be fog machines and unicorns.
I SMOKED SO MUCH I SKIPPED A DAY.
Don't forget the part about the bar bathroom stumbles.
Oh damn, you're right. I have to include that. You turned off all the lights with your head. That was impressive.
sitting in the kitchen naked and eating stirfry, random dude left my room saying thanks and gave me a bottle of wine. explain...
What happened after I vommed in your shirt that I was wearing and threw it out the window on the highway?
Last night at the bar you we're seriously going up to people and pushing through them like they were bowling pins and you were a bowling ball
We got kicked out of yet another strip club because your mom wanted to "show these kiddies how it's done"
Its like my group of friends and I are all dating and we're all just a bunch of Swingers, is that normal?
You've had it in your mouth, how have you not seen it?
Either I'm getting old or the shit show is playing earlier than it used to...
Randomize