i mean i cnt help that this campus has the highest STI rate
You are possibly the most enthusiastic, likable bad influence I've ever met.
remember that time that crown gas station wouldn't sell us a lighter so we had to use matches and birthday candles to smoke with a toilet paper roll? sometimes i miss high school
i just ordered an al pacino with double mocha at starbucks.. i'm waiting to see how long it takes the chick to realize what i said.
you know what scares the shit out of me? i have eaten bagel bites since i was a little kid and just in the past five years they started puting "made with real cheese" WHAT THE FUCK WERE THEY USING BEFORE? i mean ive been a bagel biter since the womb
Bring more bourbon. Day drunk just hit another level.
The kid I'm babysitting just asked if I had a boyfriend. WHY IS A FOUR YEAR OLD MAKING ME FEEL BAD ABOUT MY LIFE
If you were curious as to how many pounds of bagged marijuana can fit in the trunk of a 2010 Chevrolet Aveo, we now have the answer
Is it too early to say this year has been a blur?
So he's compensating for a really small penis. Either that or he's a drug lord.
Yeah I mean I think I need to stop living off of snacks and alcohol
Was banging my ex last night when his roommate walked in... We kept going. #goaheadandwatch
The problem is that you are trying to hold on to some dignity. Let it go. I hope your rash gets better.
I just want to say that I've always loved you and you are my best friend ever
You gave that creepy guy my number, didn't you? You really need to learn how to just say no, not interested.
Is it bad that I'm not at all bothered by the fact that to some people I'm simply known as the girl that takes her shirt off?
Randomize
