go do what you do best...puke behind churches
Dude, Erin Andrews has a nude video circulating the internet.
Is it any good?
Let me put it this way: I bet Stuart Scott's lazy eye went straight after watching that.
If I pass out leave the food near me so i can wake up to it
just woke up and this girl had my cellphone nestled in the front of her thong. i kept thinking "is this a trap?"
Apparently someone switched my cash for monopoly money after midnight so I couldn't get any more drinks at the bar
Then he wanted a handjob in the car. While my cousin was driving. To krispy kreme. And there was someone else in the backseat.
Jesus...So southern.
since you saved your number in my phone as "the hot chick you met last Friday" I don't know who you are either
If only we could all 3 say fuck school to be stoner flight attendants
I like the odds of his and my children being professional athletes too. To support me in my old age, see I do think about the future.
It'll just be like "PENIS HERE". In case you get lost.
Highlight of my night: you taking that shot of garlic butter and then throwing the empty container down on the stairs and saying FUCK.
there was 'chicken suit porn' in my search history.......also 'scuba diving porn'
The notary thing was a good idea. I can charge $2 per signature. I'm currently being paid in beer.
I made out with 4 out of 4 girls I was out with last night, I'm pretty sure everyone knows I'm a lesbian by now
Straight up last night my mom was like josh you need to find a job that doesn't include the selling or transporting of drugs
Randomize
