East Village: Only place you can play pac man while eating a pineapple hotdog, go to the bar next door and see a graphic blowjob on every tv
I think I have a pornographic memory.
Don't you mean photographic?
No.
i saw the 3rd guy i ever had sex with last night and kept calling him #3
he keeps his weed in a birkenstock shoe box. its like, we get it, youre from oregon.
She said to delete the bj video, but I accidentally hit the 'send to her bf' button. My bad
So I'm pretty sure I fucked the dept of homeland security guy on my kitchen table. No recollection of it, but there are signs.
I used to be terrified of what was under your bed until I passed out there last night. Now it just feels like home.
When were you at my house?
I filled this oven with as much Pizza as I could, and I've been eating out of it for three days.
Just ate the last piece. Refilling the oven.
I'm actually not sure I need to run today, between the crazy monkey sex and breaking into my own house.
i ended up eating cold sauceless spaghetti out of the container in the fridge with my hands.
And I'm determined to make an Eiffel Tower happen sometime. I just don't know who will take the pic (first world sex problem?)
That's the 3rd time in 6 months I woke up on the hallway floor using a towel as a blanket, no clue how I got there. At least back when I was still drinking I could blame something other than myself for that kind of shit.
You should go to AA meetings and warn people about the dangers of sobriety.
I lowered my expectations when he started off saying "ah missionary, my specialty"
Oh, and let me go get some popcorn, watching you make your own decisions should be quite the shitshow.
Hey, I'm 22. I'm allowed to have a sex life and you're going to hear about it.
Randomize
