A female Wisconsin fan just headbutted the bouncer. Im deeply terrified and oddly aroused at the same time.
I am not a stalker...i just bring a whole new meaning to the word love
Found my puke from September encrusted to the floor under the dresser while cleaning before move out ..... Oh Freshman year
I'm one shot of soco 100 away from fucking a mailbox
There's 12 honey baked hams in my fridge. I vaguely recalled you organizing a "Midnight Ham Run."
he just gave me a love letter in polish. he thinks i speak polish. I DONT SPEAK POLISH
Apparently getting dressed is an all-day activity.
how do you not remember that?! you winked at the bouncer and then proceeded to grind on him while chugging a beer. i don't know if i should be proud or embarrassed to be your friend
Eating a grilled cheese at a strip club... good idea??
He should just accept that I want his dick and his friendship. Can't he understand that I don't do emotions?
I would have publicly shamed him but I'm pretty sure his tramp stamp did that on its own...
I actually haven't slept with anyone in a while. I think my whore phase is just seasonal.
I just masturbated while watching Say Yes to the Dress
This is what my life has come to
Your vagina is like Nancy Drew lately.
His dick is a spiritual experience and meditation is very important to me.
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