We shared that special kind of eye contact that can only be experienced when you know one party is saying "Oh god, I fucked him in the back seat when you were in the front, didn't I."
I just learned you can mail a coconut. I'll be over in 3 days with the rum.
I can now tell my grandchildren Central Park has really great spots for quickies...
officially hit rock bottom.. been yelling through the vent in my room to my little brother trying to convince him to get me water for the past two hours. i fear feeling the full effect of my hangover if i stand.
If you can find a Canadian Lesbian to have pity sex with me, let me know.
Did you hook up with him before or after he shaved off half of his eyebrow?
I know you're gay. But if I'm not getting dick, then you have to. That's what friends do.
All I see when I think of you are dancing penis angels around your head.
You asked the bartender if she was trying to get you drunk. She cut you off after that.
You would only karaoke to Spanish songs, but sang with the accent of the french candle stick in beauty and the beast.
I feel like I should be having more sex dreams of my boyfriend than his sister..
I no longer need a flask. I need a canteen.
I went to steal condoms from your room and all I could find was chik fil a sauce
my personal favorite... An "I'm sorry you broke your finger and cant play sports for awhile" blowjob!
So drinking that old rum that I found in the ceiling of my dorm was prob not my best idea. But good news: my puke was so colorful b/c of all the skittles i ate
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