it was all downhill after the free blackjack taco
she wants me to text her or call her all the time when we are apart...this is not high school...
you thought your tounge was "malfunctioning" because every time u spoke it wouldnt sit still.
Lauren she was gnawing on a dresser. Gnawing. On. A. Dresser.
surgery went fine. i cant breath out of my right nostril though. lets not eat peas anymore when we are drunk.
We decided we needed a drinks fridge in our bathroom.
I'm pretty sure blacking out is a coping mechanism.
I have a question: does pizza dipped in chili sound good or am I just really high?
all I wanna do is swim in an Olympic sized pool of Gatorade and tylenol.
No, I did not fuck him for football tickets. I fucked him for tickets to the superbowl. I'm not that much of a slut.
We ended up debating which Food Network host would do best in porn.
Can't keep a straight face around her after she asked me to "make fuck to her."
Oh great. I guess I'm second on that list now that we've confirmed she's not a lesbian AND that was her sister.
Needless to say, I did not go home with him cause he kinda resembled a guppy fish.
is it weird that i just witnessed the marriage of someone ive had sex with on multiple occasions?
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