Regardless of the degree, it's probably not good to relate so closely to the Steve-O documentary.
a strip club that doesn't allow touching or asking for sex... whats the point?
unless her vagina can tell me my horoscope in sign language, I'm not going.
I just accidentally stumbled into an AA meeting...I think its a sign
you looked up at me mid puke with tears in your eyes and asked to make sure no one took your turn at Wii
Well, if they're both my boyfriend.. Then i cheated on both of them.
You kept trying to hail an ambulance
You are forgiven. I sent you a picture of a pumpkin man as a gesture of reconciliation.
don't tell me about being eco-friendly. i just threw up in the same bag i bought my liquor in. RECYCLING
All I remember is waking up with 3 penises pointed at my face. I also remember enjoying that a lot. And then I threw up in their shower.
The light burnt out and he thinks the power is out in the whole house. He is cooking a hog dog over two candles. I'm gonna see if he'll make me one
okay - we take $20 and buy each other some 'drink till we puke' clothes from the thrift store.
Today has been like a snow day for your boobs. No rules, just doing whatever they want.
My gynaecologist hit my g-spot today by accident and for some reason I went "at least someone found it" VERY AWKWARD
I'm drunk, laying in bed, eating macaroni salad. I dropped a piece and tried to pick it up with a fork. My cleavage is bleeding and I haven't been laid yet. Heeeyyyy!!!
next time you go get food at three am and leave a rando here can you warn me??? Also i tazed him. but it was just my little one so i think he'll be fine. bring me some fries.
Randomize
