It was then that he suggested we all nibble ears. A nibble circle.
as we were driving back from the frat house he pulled down his pants and convinced me his penis "wanted some air"
Dude, I had to masturbate just to stay warm. Please pay the gas bill?
Ok that kid was ether gay or 12 with a beard.
Well, I now know how many glasses of wine it takes for me to fuck my neighbor.
You stumbled in at 10am, half-clothed and still drunk from last night and yelled "well, its not called a walk of pride!", then passed out on the couch.
I am so excited I do not know how I will sleep.
It's like the Christmas morning of dicks
lesson learned.. dressing up like a naughty teacher doesn't mean you can get away with spanking a cop with a ruler for being "fresh" with you
What is this nonsense on the table
Your idea.
I mean the hole taco that was chewed up and spit out
It's like a harem of immaturity and bad ideas...and that's coming from me
(This is the second time ive been high enough to decide to run for office)
He called me at 4 a.m. and wanted me to drive him to McDonald's then drop him off at home. It wasn't even a booty call, it was a fucking chauffeur call.
I told my manager I was trying to conserve my energy for date night/Sexual Olympics later. That's legit for another break, right?
I never realized how weird our shower smells until I cracked a shower beer and had a familiar aroma to compare it to.
What even was the context for that. All I have written down is "I would vote for President SnakeJaw."
Randomize