i've counted 4 condom wrappers but only 3 condoms. not again.
Just got done reading an 11 page essay for class. Took me three fucking days and the only thing I have highlighted is the name "Alexander Cockburn"
as they left, you opened the door, dropped your pants then yelled "don't leave, this is what you're missing"
Just so we're clear. I'm still making jello shots and bringing them to the bar in my purse. I don't care if its half off margaritas. Don't want anyone thirsty
she made a facebook for her toddler.. his likes include lil wayne and ice luge. He has more friends than i do. I mean, Seriously? there's not enough booze in the world to make thanksgiveing bearable
Some girl just showed me her stretch marks
You need to get out of tn
Maybe you should start carrying pepper spray. You are like the Justin Bieber of lesbians.
The last thing I remember was you puking all over the inside of my door and him yelling "PUKING RALLY!!!"
In other news my cocaine dealer got arrested for heaving some kid out of a fourth story window.
I am in the bathroom at work, pooing while eating pretzels. Hungover Fridays are in full effect
I was hooking up with him and then someone banged on the door and shouted "When you get the chance, will you put the weed on the veranda?"
Oh my lord it is too early in the morning to be that horny freak
my vagina doesn't wear a watch
idk i usually just blame everything on steve
Steve quit two months ago
When the state fair security guard came to yell at her for having outside food and drink she threatened to kick him if he tried to stop her and then she proceeded to chug the whole bottle.
classic
CURRENTLY PLAYING FLIP CUP WITH A WORLD SERIES CHAMPION
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