just got my goo swallowed for the first time. colors seem so much more vivid now, and more rainbows are outside
Apparently married women at the office don't like getting congratulated on getting "knocked up"
Its piss that you smell... I borrowed that shirt last week. Sooo, wanna grab some laundry soap on your way home? And good luck on your date.
Do you think the party boat will still go out if there is a hurricane?
I just ran up four flights of stairs in heels, im getting an orgasm tonite.
It's a special occasion. Hence the 151.
I watched you fall asleep, sitting up, eating a cinnamon roll. You proceeded to wake up...smile at your cinnamon roll, ask it how it got into your hand and then began eating it again. You asked me if you were ridiculous last night, define ridiculous.
I'm thinking blowjobs and wheelchair sex should be part of any post-injury wellness plan.
Tell me again why I left before the topless cake fight
One small step for man, one big gay fierce leap for gays!
Packing for college has become a game of where did I hide my sex toys.
I wasn't supposed to sleep w him. So of course I sent him gps location to my bed.
He was really cute! And I know but it's just like getting my fix ya know? He's basically a human vibrator.
I'm touching everything in your apartment with my penis.
I knew she was the one when we had sex to the halo soundtrack.
Randomize
