please. tell me to stop eating out of the trash.
I finally had kitchen counter sex! i was so excited
Small penises have feelings too.
Lesson 1: you can't keep macking on a girl if you get handcuffed
Just shaved my vagina. It's been so long I forgot what it looked like. You need to come over right now.
This is a drunk text message. I am so glad that we are friends. Tomorrow we will eat sandwiches in miniature. We both love dogs. Flower.
There is something depressing about eating toast in a dark living room by myself using a paper plate that says: "Let's Party!"
Hey Im running from the cops. hiding in a bush. when you're approaching the intersection honk the horn twice and I will come out.
announcing that you were the mayor of bjtown got their attention.
Quick question: how do I take a nice picture of my ass? I'm asking you because I figure with an ass like yours you're probably experienced.
I almost bumped into a man wrapped only in a blanket at 10 am
Been trying to fuck him since december. Finally got him into bed and he was uncircumcised. Why do bad things happen to good people?
I literally have nothing else left to cut besides my drug budget; the dark days are among us
some kid lit a j in the bar tonight. i was in awe of both his boldness and the severe beatdown he received moments later
She puked on the floor because she said she really liked to clean.
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