What would Jesus do? ... Jesus would slap a ho.
White boys cant dance....we did an empirical study
Cumming on a girls face is guy code for you're not wife material.
Warning: at some point today you will probably see several pics of me 69-ing a blow up turtle show up on facebook. Just disregard them.
Well besides you comparing him to your dead cat, I'd say it was fine.
He equated my biology degree to a belief in Santa. I wonder if he heard the doors to my vagina clanging shut.
WHY IN THE FUCK DID YOU LET ME DRUNK PUNCH STEVE? HE IS SUCH A NICE GUY!
I'm gonna fuck that sweet little pussy of yours into absolute submission
Wow. Sorry. As soon as I sent that I felt inappropriate. But yes. Bring a sandwich after. Lol
Dude I introduced the hot Russian girl to the hot Ukrainian girls. I am a UN ambassador
Never thought I would be taunted by little kids about my walk of shame
So we just accidentally broke into a building from the third floor while carrying shovels. The security guards are still very confused
Okay, tomorrow we'll have a day of life-sorting and plasma-selling.
My cousin was arrested on a class b felony for selling meth out of the back door of McDonald's where he worked. Apparently it was the extra special sauce.
It was a career choice to be sure... Mistakes were made.
He literally had a Trump sign in his front yard. I just can't now.
Lol. I liked you the most when we were banging random girls and trying to tag team everything. You were happier then.
Randomize
