she came over and started getting naked and said its not like i came over to just hang out
youve hit the jackpot
sometimes i wonder what i would do without sheltered catholic girls w/ overprotective parents
never have sex?
this kid at 40 friday greeted another kid by saying "heeey farmville neighbor"
dude.
yep. needless to say i didn't meet anyone and spent yet another friday night masturbating.
Nah, lets use your guy, my drug dealer is going all pineapple express on me
you know what its like when everyone is chanting "do it, do it"...still friends?
I can't believe we just used the phrase "jizz to juice ratio" in casual conversation.
Lesbian chick is doing her presentation on the time she woke up on the dockside still drunk at 7 am. This is why I show up to chinese class.
Last night after the bar I went home and ate a pulled pork sandwich in a bubble bath
trust me. coming from a bonafide dirtbag, this dude is up to shady shit
Whatever I'm getting wasted, my costume's bomb, and there's a good chance I'm getting laid. Not letting stupidity ruin my night!
Yeah, I mean I'll probably fuck him regardless but I'm trying to be a lady about it.
I fucking hate humanity. I met a twenty three year old adult with an aol email account today. I'm not sure how those things are related, but I'm sure they are.
On a scale of 0 to Thanksgiving, there is no amount of food that fights against tequila.
On a scale of 1 to 10 how good of an idea would it be to pregame at the airport right now
Ten
What are you talking about? Keg stands at wedding are super classy.
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