You should never have let annie watch you have sex with other women
I don't know, But i remember him licking ecstasy off my boobs and my boyfriend cheering him on
If we see one freshman that cummed on me, we are leaving.
apparently we spent 30 minutes inside that big Nike store turning all of their Duke gear inside out. for some reason the employees didn't stop us.
Just traded the drive-through guy at BK a Dos Equis for a Hershey pie before noon... win?
We are gunna have the best winter break smoking weed and eating ham
I need vodka and champagne for my new favorite drink, vodkapagne. Alternative spellings are "vodkapain" and "vom-machine"
My cell phone fell out of my shirt pocket while tying my shoe on an escalator....which was followed by me being accused of trying to sneak an upskirt photo and being violently shoved down the top of the escalator. How's YOUR day?
I've started day drinking because fuck everyone else
When I woke up next to him on the living room floor, my glasses were broken and it felt like someone rubbed a cactus all over my vag
Nothing says hey I wanna be your friend again like ambushing me with a dick pic
Ex-boyfriend shit on a ping pong table at a party last night. Taking "party pooper" to a whole new level.
Forget about letting a 70-year-old man suck on my tits for coke... telling my new boyfriend about it was the poor life choice.
I'm hungover from the 8pm vodka and still drunk from the 5am beer.
He said it was the classiest hand job he ever had because my nails were painted red. We need to go to nicer bars from now on.
Randomize
