My girlfriend figured out who you are.
i think i would be more confident if i were chinese.
I am in the checkout line at the dollar store and there is a guy in front of me holding a pregnancy test, a chocolate bar, and fake roses. Champion.
we need to drink more beer. the fridge wont close.
Adderal just makes me love life. I want to do so much. I just can't stop thinking about all the wonderful opportunities we have and how lucky we are and I want to make a difference in the world. I just have to reign in my brain and convince it that changing the world starts with a college degree, which depends on studying for these finals.
He needs to respect me before he can fuck me with cat ears on.
I miss living with her. She was the only person who was a bigger train wreck than I am.
Im just an angry damaged little elf who wanders around and tries to find drugs.
Fine I'll cuddle you but only for the purpose of trying to survive
I am luring the porn star to my house with chicken!
I booty texted him nothing but three exclamation points at 3:05am and he was in my bed 17 minutes later, lest you think punctuation is not important.
Why does 10AM Spanish always turn into a discussion about my sex life?
so in 24 hours i have gotten caught having sex in my car by a cop, almost burnt off my vag, almost got hit by a semi, and got fired. awesome.
I don't know who he was but he was covered up with a shower curtain and ate a whole bottle of tums
And I broke things off with Justin last night. Except I texted him while he was asleep and then I was like well, that's probably not what he wants to wake up to, so I sent him a picture of the coconut I microwaved and caught on fire when I was really high one time.
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