Did I ever tell you that the first person i made out with cried?
you looked like a weeble wobble. everytime we thought you were going to fall you bounced back up...you're an amazing drunk
i took an adderall last night to write a paper. i ended up watching 7 hours of roseanne and couldn't look away
I have a new fascination with cutting really small segments of hair off peoples heads when they're not looking.
I miss vodka workout Fridays
I wish I could go back in time 3 years and tell my freshman self how easy it is to hook up with freshmen
Apparently you get kicked out of gay bars if they catch you putting the entire free condom bowl in your purse.
2 more and I will have fucked 75 percent of my acting class. best. elective. ever.
I dunno. The only plans I have for sure after finals are smoking a bowl and eating a 5 pound gummy bear. btw I bought a 5 pound gummy bear
Ps I'm glad our relationship hasn't progressed into having to get married so we legally can't testify against each other
Oh. My. God. You texted my mom "IM BACK BITCHES!"
apparently my buddy was fucking on our couch downstairs so i decided it was necessary to walk downstairs naked in a hockey mask.
I almost wanna stick a tampon in and sneeze bent over to see if it actually shoots out
Are we at that level of friendship where we can share slutty stories and not hold it against the other person at a later date ?
He's the one named Andrew. In his profile picture he is the one on the right in the monkey costume.
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