you know he's having a sex change. I can't believe you called him "titty man" to his face....
Apparently oprah and I were in competition to see who's ass could get bigger this summer
Imagine a baby lion feeding on an injured gazelle and it tasting fresh blood for the first time. That's me and this breakfast sammich
This milkshake tastes better than sex. Priorities, I have them.
Two girls just making out in the elevator. Didn't stop when the doors opened. Part of me didnt mind, but part did. Bc I wanted to get on the elevator without it getting awkward. Am I gay?
I'm not gonna lie; I was dosed with mushrooms and am eating pickles with a guy in all white. It's weird, but I'm down. Help.
We sent off fireworks off in the taco bell drive through. They're taking it way too seriously.
I woke up at 6am to a knock and a naked guy at my window.
Haha, maybe if he wasn't dressed up like Kimmy Gibler he could give her the D
Wrong. I really wanted to see the movie. And she was on top of me like she was riding a mechanical bull. Who am I to complain? I live to serve.
I felt I lost my designated buddy on a field trip when you wandered off to get high with strangers.
My body looks like ricotta cheese had a vacation
...and with one comment dissing Hannibal Lecter, I suddenly understood why we never worked out.
I woke up in a beaver hat and contruction vest.. I need answers.
Yah. Then he started clapping my boobs together in his hands and started shouting "the seas are angry!"
Randomize
