Btw I've read that book you bought me...And I'm such a bitch now
But I don't think guys love me
Where you at
assisting at a photo shoot in williamsburg till 7ish. wassup?
Doesn't matter. I already jerked off in your bed.
Shit sorry. Maybe I wont give you this sweet ass fanny pack I found in my parents attic
i googled waterboarding like you asked. as long as you do it outside. we have carpet. but i wont be a part of it.
Just ordered an appetizer sampler to distract the fat chicks so we can escape
That's cause you yelled across the parking lot you wanted to eat her out
Bring enough bail money and little extra for tacos after
I hope you dream of an avalanche of penises
yo btw licking skeptical coke off table right now
Its ok. Im having a low day. About to mix cake mix with milk and drink it.
Still drunk on my morning "run" which has turned into a walk. Just burped fireball
I didn't know I was invited to an orgy.
If you had been home 20 minutes ago, you probably would've caught me masturbating, so it might be for the best.
I may or may not have tried to give myself a lobotomy
What's the policy on calling guys who have kids daddy...
Randomize
