somehow, due in part to drug cocktail and alchl prior to meeting, i blacked out, got home, made total mess of kitchen, broke shower, and made 17 hard boiled eggs
Grow some girl-balls and come out already
Played the LOTR drinking game last night. Ended up in boxers running thru the lot at ross's place screaming "for frodo"
miscarriage! now THATS a gift from god.
this is going to sound stupid but when I was drunk and thought I was a stripper where I did toss my pants?
I asked my mom if I was the drunkest one in the room. With 8 days till I go back to school, I couldn't care less about being shitfaced at a baptism
Just KTHXBAIed an old man for staring at me
This inappropriate post strip club text brought to you by Cheetah of Palm Beach and vodka. Blowjob in the champagne room and the clap for the low low price of your paycheck.
It was your ex but it was not eighties night, it was pudding wrestling. And either thank you or I'm sorry depending on the state of my pants left on the doorstep
He was still there when I ran half naked into my suitemate's room where she was skyping her boyfriend and I started singing I JUST HAD SEEEEX
I apologize for being mean. I love the blender and your vagina.
I also know you puked in your shoe.
That would explain the note .... I apparently wrote myself an apology note from drunk to sober me .... saying "sorry for the fancy shoe soup" .... ugh I'll never drink again ...
my roommate had drunk sex above me in our bunk bed and then built me a fort to apologize the next day
He was so traumatized by the It's a small world ride but he immediately pulled out a flask from god-knows-where and got drunk before the ride was over. The ride operator didn't blame him.
A piece of your chipped nail polish just fell out of my crotch.
Randomize
