No matter how drunk I am, I will take the time to wipe a pube off the toilet seat.
I bet i've been more pregnant than you.
Wow, Pearl Harbor and The Notebook are on. Its like the Im going to kill myself marathon.
just had a dream there were parent teacher conferences in college...scariest dream ever.
CNN just did a special on how to do heroin safely.. I recorded it for us
my life is in even more shambles than last time, mcdonalds is closed
I've already started drinking so the earlier you get out of class the more coherent I'll probably be.
Just rescued a super cute pair of Gucci heels off the sorority lawn on my way to work. Things are worth two paychecks. Fuck trust fund kids.
Too much alcohol and too many lesbians. I can officially say I have regrets now. At least that's something.
we had break-up sex in a port-a-potty. how do you think it went?!
I sent you a snap of me in the bath, and you sent me a snap of a taco. An actual taco.
It was a frighteningly large penis to say the least
Looks like taco salad for lunch. I may have died and gone to be better circle in hell than I thought.
We're going through the drive-through at mcdonalds while pulling sam behind us in the wheelchair and having them hand him the food. Let me know how this went in the morning
Help. Why am I so naked?
Randomize
