Have fun fixing the bed from last night Bob Villa.
At least you didn't call me Brittany this time
I was so drunk last night I wanted to download a Busta Rhymes album.
Just got a script for 120 vicodin with 6 refills. I feel like michael jackson.
I could make treat bags
My number went up to seventeen today. I forgot to add my random hookup on a sailboat.
Internet sex stories have completely ruined the word sopping for me.
The goblet must only be used for good. And vodka. And anything t-pain would be proud of.
This is like the time you took a picture of your knees and told him it was your tits, isn't it?
I moved my bed to the living room so when a girl walks in she has to decide right away if shes in or out
I'm imagining a seal in an ugly shirt hahahahaha Percocet
When your hungover saltines taste like hope...
He said did you just interrupt me midsentence to admire another man's penis?
What are we just gonna be those girls that get fucked in your parents basement and not get taken to dinner? I don't wanna be those girls.
She is still out of it but keeps saying ur name she said to tell u dinosaurs aren't real but biscuit with a z made bad choices
I just threw up on the way to class. Legit, on the sidewalk by psych building.
THAT WAS YOU? Psych prof just pointed out the window and said "that kids, is why you don't pregame before class"
I could hear it slapping against his thighs under the robe!!!!!!!!! You are a lucky girl!
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