White coat. Heels.
just found out my sister was breast fed and i was not...pretty upset about that.
saw you walking with that piece of shit
and that piece of shit just read that
I woke up to somebody tossing my salad... I should have drank more
good luck with ur interview. Just show them your confidence and don't make that sucking snot noise. Really don't. Praying for you, love mom
i just saw some one pass a baby through the drive-thru window at dairy queen.
Fuck at this point id do just about anything for 20 bucks
That has been your downfall in past encounters with 20 dollars bills
They wouldn't serve more then two Shots per person, so you grabbed a group of strangers and said u werre buying them all shots, then proceeded to drink all of them.
He's just giving off this "someone be a bitch to me" vibe
I lull them into a false sense of security with my gayness. Then when they're vulnerable, I strike, like a snake. A big non-gay snake, with huge balls.
FALSE ALARM! I didn't piss myself, I fell asleep in the shower and then drunkingly crawled into my bed
I'm not sure I can continue to condone our having sex in all of your friends' beds
I was like, booze is the closest thing I have to a father. Don't pour daddy down the sink
Yesterday I went home with one shoe, today I go home with three. Fucking win.
Only you would try street racing in a Volvo.
Randomize
