You work out of a Hotel?
weak ass sauce last night. waste of time. you suck. ps. your boobs are fake
There is a strange man mowing my lawn. Best day ever.
My t9 writes chubies instead of bitches.
either way. win, win.
We hung out in the bathroom the whole time and talked about sex and watched some girl pee. If you don't believe I was there, check the bathtub for bread crust.
one of them held the wheel while the other one changed her pants. while driving. on the thruway. what
she's living proof man. somebody has literally pissed in the gene pool
My roommate said I banged on the wall and said, "this dude eats pussy like a champ."
My life is over. I farted in open court. Noticeably. The judge looked at me. It echoed.
how do you ask an olympian for your underwear back?
I had one glass of wine then passed out for 4 hours. It's like I'm having a quarter-life crisis.
is one penis in the hand worth one better nicer penis in the manscaped bush?
This is your morning-after text courtesy of your very confused friend!! :) To discuss "what the hell were you trying to tell me last night," press 1. To laugh over your drunken antics, press 2. To pretend like none of it even happened (or to respond with concurrent confusion because you have no idea), press 3.
Sorry for the milk in the bathroom. I was washing mace out of the one security guys eyes
She asked how comfortable I was with her while we were in the shower. She then proceeded to pee in said shower.
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