I just foul balled at work. I had taken off my coat too… had to go to the sink wash my hands then go back to the stall and pick up my coat. I hope the guy shitting in the stall next to me didn’t figure out what happened.
make sure i look cute passed out on the couch.
dude we were making out and she kept singing the americas next top model song. you wanna be on top?
Will i get arrested If i steal the salvatiion arny guys bell for ringing it to close to my hangover
This is the Santa Claus of hangovers. It just keeps giving.
all I'm saying is if you're gonna fuck a fat chick do it in a pool it's like zero gravity or something
how did you graduate high school
he was making out with her against the stove and started a fire--the thirst literally almost burned the place down!!
You should frame my arrest warrant.
I'm still depressed that I forgot my ice cream at your place
Would you paint my ceiling for oral sex?
It's hard to talk dirty with a mouth full of peanut butter
Guy just walked into the bathroom with only socks on and took a 5second shit. It is taking me longer to type this than for him to shit, wash hands, and leave the bathroom. WTF? Still wondering why he only had socks on.
I was pretty pissed in the morning when I realized he had fucked the fake tattoo right off my chest.
My theme for the night was drink diego drink! Unfortunately Dora was not there to navigate me to the bathroom
test was negative. but nancy drew has yet to solve the case of the missing period.
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