Third unemployed latin in my bed this week. I'm on a roll
After last night's events, I googled "how to change your life direction." I found a really helpful ehow.com article.
So High I just made Cadbury Coffee. I don't know what it is yet, but it involves Cadbury Eggs and coffee.
He couldn't say anything coherently but shot off a perfectly timed "that's what she said" when michelle said he'd have to ride in the trunk because she didn't have enough room up front.
They ran out of ice at the party, so I fixed my drink with frozen broccoli....the show must go on!
He's so drunk he thinks he's the ultimate warrior. Told cops he was from parts unknown. Never broke character
but we were going camping. it only made sense to bring the 6 ft bong
dude, my hangover is telling me there was tequila involved
Learn from me. Do not smoke cigs and fold laundry in your room. The cigarette will fall into the dresser without you noticing and your shirts will be on fire. Wanna go shopping tomorrow? I need some new shirts.
You're about wine.
Yes, I'm like 90% wine at the moment
You bring me burritos. Of course I text you during sex
He invited to drink but spelled forties wrong so no thx
Ask him to BK for an ice cream cone and do him in the car. That counts as a date
Harry Potter pub crawl tonight. You know you're living your life right when your check list for the evening is wizard robes, wand and acid.
The awkward moment when you're leaving the most attractive guy you've ever been with and you're trying not to shit on yourself. Fucking welcome to my life
Randomize
