opening your purse in class to grab a pen only to find dollar bills and pink fuzzy handcuffs instead...that's a cool feeling
hey sry I lost all my numbers who is this?
pat the guy you slept with
still need a last name
It's been over a month and I still can't find the bra I wore out on new years eve.
hes a soccer player too.. you'd think he has better penis eye coordination
There was a canoe full of alcohol. It was literally a boat load of fun
How can I look at her with a straight face when she has dry puke on her eye lid
Stealing vibrators from Walmart together was when I realized you'd be my Maid of Honor.
she went to her friend's wedding and caught the bouquet. as the unwilling rebound, can i run away now?
You better be coming back...your date is passed out in a shrub in my backyard and I'm pretty sure her shirt is on my kitchen floor
Is it possible to dent your eyeball? And how do you "accidentally" go cosmic bowling?
The fact that me being able to walk down stairs is an accomplishment in my books pretty much explains how I am
who has a one night stand on Christmas ? But he's pretty attractive so thumbs up
If body pillows had a built in vibrator attached I would literally never need a boyfriend again
Haha i really think theres no better way to tell a paramedic sorry for breaking your nose than a beautiful and healthy edible arrangement...
Omg. I checked my purse this morning and I'm pretty sure drunk me stole a frat guys tube of crest 3d white toothpaste. Like that's pretty fucked up but I think if I knew someone did that to me I'd probably still invite them over again cuz I'd be like, "this girl's creative, and has good hygiene."
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