Why did I cab home last night?
Because you said you were drunk, sad, and someone called you a hooker.
she just sneezed while going down on me. is it rude for me to ask her to do it again?
i just realized why god gave us younger siblings....to DD for us when we come home for the summers
His best friend walked in while we were banging, turned on the light, yelled BURN, grabbed his computer to play the Thunderstruck drinking game, turned off the light and left.
Never thought I'd say this but I just want to go home, ice my balls, and pop a Vicodin.
She looked at my cock with a kind of resigned disappointment.
Fuckers are stealing our internet and making my porn stream slowly so I changed the password for VanceRefrigeration to RyansaCunt. No spaces but capitalization.
This teachers last name is pfister and she did the fisting motion to help explain how to pronounce her name. This class might be good
I wish your snatch was here
If my snatch could sprout wings I'd fly to you
Still butthurt there's a framed picture of me passed out on the toilet in my grandparents' living room
Is it just me, or do you see your penis in that hand?
Two of my roommates are waxing their vaginas in the living room. Can I come smoke?
If I stopped drinking I'd have to take up murdering.
so then the cop took one last hit off our blunt and then drove off in his car and we just all stood there thinking, yea... that just happened...
I got off F O U R times, just because he wanted to hear me moan. He is my hero.
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