you dont want to live with me, im always naked, a chronic masturbator, a bit of a voyeur and will likely touch you while you sleep. ps- i can pick locks
did he really ask u insert a warm banna in ur anal?
Oh. Thats cool. Im not dating anyone right now. Sean gave me chlamydia from some GUY he fooled around with. Im being abstinent.
the choice between paying your electricity bill and getting herpes medicine is a tough one.
so it turns out, not only do the doormen judge the girls I bring home, but they rate them.
I wonder what my nutrition professor is going to think when I have to put 21 keystone lights, a bottle of merlot wine, and 5 rum and cokes and 4 shots of tequila on my dietary analysis
Lets get real here, ive seen your moms breasts multiple times
P.S. I just made up pleasure scepter for the purpose of that last message.
Ps I think male models just broke down outside or maybe gay German sex travelers
He called me at 4am to ask me to marry him, then threw up into the phone for 10 minutes.
Got drunk with him at an Irish pub ended up losing him for twenty minutes when I finally find him his piss drunk singing Irish folk music with a group of Irish guys and a midget
He meets the coolest people when he's drunk
My booty call fought through ice and a foot of snow to get here. He brought booze, food, and cigarettes for three days. My vagina is the greatest motivator of all time.
I'm eating taquitos in the bathtub at 5:30 am. What a great end to the night
I think I got a sinus infection from puking out my nose on st. Patricks day #thisis26
I'm pretty sure I hallucinated the existence of an entire human being last night.
Randomize