Well douche your snatch and let's go!
I'm pretty sure my roommate has taken plan B more times than i've had sex. Not sure how that makes me feel.
I'm trapped in whichever ring of hell is populated by inbred yokels and type 2 diabetes.
Theres a dude at this concert at the urinal double fisting beers, taking drinks from both while simultaneously pissing euerywhere. He is my hero
They don't exactly give out small business loans to start-up dealers
they won't let me drive with my sombrero
i put that paper plate back in your cabinet because i ate all the ketchup off and you can't even tell. you're welcome.
You were dancing with a coffee pot of rum in one hand and a joint in the other. So that should explain everything.
I just told the toilet I loved it. Bad sign.
Cleaning my pipe and using the left over resin solution to make THC laced rolling papers and a jar of hash oil/honey for my tea
WE USE THE WHOLE BUFFALO
I need to be drunk within 15 minutes of getting home tonight.
Mom called last night while I was at the bar and asked where I was. I told her I was on the highway to the danger zone while the guys were humming the top gun theme.
He just stays over and makes naked pancakes in the morning
Welcome to Missouri, the show me your genitals state.
How have you never felt a dick as hard as mine?
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