yeah so i didn't even realize i was on meth until the next morning
I had to go to the bank to confirm purchases made on 10/31/09 because they were signed as Lady Gaga
nothing like a tattoo of a large eagle attacking a small eagle whos attacking a shark to bond to siblings together for life
He paid me to blow him while doing a handstand. Does that make me a whore or just a budding gymnast?
My vagina and my morals are playing tug of war
You never know how much you love your bed until you sleep with 4 other people in your car.
You know it's been a rough year when your therapist mouth is just wide open. And I didn't even get to the real issue!
Does it count as working out if stops are taken every half hour to smoke a blunt?
But that background check said 51...Omg. If I hooked up with someone that's my dads age.....
How do we stop her downward spiral?
Wine. For us.
I also made him write a nonfiction romance novel about what happened and to give it to me when the time was right
Why can't I come over and snuggle you and make you lick my boots
The Royals are in the World Series. I've never drank so much in one week in my life.
I think we can say happy hour is successful when you have frosting and southern comfort in your hair.
I blacked out after the piñata full of condoms
Randomize
